The scene is evocative. A small boat, rocking abruptly out of sync with the calm lake. A few men working feverishly to haul in a very full net of fish. Contrasting that activity, in the same boat, one man on his knees before another, his heart breaking with the sudden realization of who he was, and who he was kneeling before. The words forcing themselves out of his throat, "Go away from me Lord, I am a sinful man." I can almost see the agony in his face, and I feel the pain as if it were my own... it is uncomfortably familiar...
So, why these words? What prompted this seasoned fishing professional to be overcome with such seemingly contrary emotion upon receiving this gift of the largest haul of fish he had ever seen, much less, hauled in himself. The overflowing nets would have made any fisherman cry, but not with such sorrow. And why beg the Man who gave such a gift to go away? A little context could help.
Peter and the guys had been fishing all night. That's just what they did almost every night... they were professional fishermen. In that society, it was a relatively respectable career path. Truly, every faithful young man wanted to be a student, chosen by one of the famous Pharisees to be taught in the Law and the Prophets, the Bible of that day, or what Christians know as the Old Testament. The life of a scholar would be much easier and have more opportunity than that of any tradesman. Teaching, preaching, and sitting around, discussing theological things all day... much more gratifying than casting nets and gutting fish all night and day. These men, having not been chosen by one of the schools of religious training, followed in their fathers' footsteps into the trade of fishing, and were likely resolved that their destinies were pretty much set.
That morning, after an unsuccessful night of fishing, they were there on the banks of the Lake of Gennesaret (also know as the Sea of Galilee, or the Sea of Tiberias) cleaning their nets. A teacher, not yet famous, but certainly becoming known for his contrariness, was teaching from the banks. Apparently, the fishermen had a front row seat, as they continued to finish their work for the day. Whatever Jesus was talking about must have been impressive, because when He was done speaking to the crowd, He turned to Peter and said, "Let's go catch some fish!" (loose translation by me!) Peter, tired, in the middle of cleaning his nets, started to put up an argument, "Master, we have worked hard all night and haven't caught anything..." Notice the term "Master." (Luke 5:5) That's a term we simply won't use today. We would never even feign such a submissive position to anyone... much less someone we did not know. I have heard various explanations of this: 1. That Peter had heard Jesus before; 2. That Peter had actually already established a relationship with Jesus at this point; 3. That Peter had wanted to be a teacher himself, recognized the power in this Teacher who spoke to him now, and simply had an immediate sense of deep respect for Jesus... a view I particularly prefer as most reasonable. Not that it matters that much, but it just seems to me that anything else would have been mentioned.
So, back to the context: we see that Peter, at least, recognized this Teacher as Master. And despite the fact that Peter and the others were experienced, professional fishermen who had already called it a day, Peter capitulated his argument and offered, "...but because You say so, I will let down the nets." The text goes immediately to the catching of fish, skipping past the description of how the men had to gather the nets and whatever tools they use, get back into the boats, and row out into the waters. The text simply states: "When they had done so, they caught such a large number the nets began to break." That's crazy! I am going out on a limb here, but I don't think they had ever seen anything like this. During the warmth of the day, when the fish were normally nearest the bottom and fishing just isn't done, they caught the biggest catch of their lives... maybe the biggest catch ever on that lake. The boat was starting to sink, and they had to call out to another boat to come over and help... we are talking, HUGE! You can only imagine the excitement of all of those involved! The yelling and laughing, whooping and hollering! This was the catch of their lives.
In the midst of the chaos, I can see Peter... slowly standing, countenance fading from outright exuberance to solemn stupor. The realization that this Man, who gave this gift, who said these words, who had commanded such submissiveness from him without any verbal demands, was more than a man. Who else could direct the fish themselves to jump into the net? These fish were usually out of reach at this time of day, not to mention this catch literally defied all realities known to Peter and the others. Fish don't do this. Peter then realized, "Jesus did this... Jesus is sent from God." We know this because of the next word out of Peter's mouth was "Lord". There is a dramatic shift from Master, which is pretty powerful, to Lord, which is Master times a hundred. In our day, that could be something like the difference between "dude" and "Mr. President"... We can only conclude something happened in the time from the shore to the hauling in of fish... Jesus didn't change... Peter did. And in that place, Peter could only ask - no, beg - this Man, "Lord", to go away. "Go away from me Lord, I am a sinful man."
This is worth exploring: Why would you ask God to go away? To give you a hint of where I am going, I am just going to say that I suspect we all ask God to go away a lot more than we care to admit. This peek into Peter's soul, that he now knows his sinfulness in a more full way and at the same time, he sees the holiness of God... it breaks his heart. I think we can all say these things: "I am sinful. God is Holy." We can probably even say it in the same sentence: "I am sinful and God is perfectly holy." There. I said it. I don't think Peter was just saying it... maybe that is the point. Peter experienced something in a profound truth that he had not experienced before. An utter humbling that rocked his world so deep that his only response was to ask God to go away, lest God get stained by Peter's filthiness, or lest Peter burst into flames from proximity to God's perfection. Peter, with his religious background; his past hopes of being one of the elite teachers in the order of the Pharisees or maybe the Sadducees... Peter got it...maybe for the first time. "God is good. God is Holy. I am nothing. I do not deserve anything except condemnation." He stared up into the eyes of God expecting to see that condemnation he deserved. But, that is not what he saw.
Before we move on to what he saw in Jesus' eyes, let's just agree to agree: All of us have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) I don;'t have a clue about what specific sins Peter was thinking of, but I can come up with plenty of my own. I suspect you can, too. Personally, I have a few doozies that I simply can't even talk about. It is quite possible that you feel the same way. The problem at times is that we compare our sins to the sins of others, and then, we aren't so bad after all. In fact, if we could maybe find someone who sins more than us, we start to look pretty good. As if the blackness of sin was relative. That way, we feel better and it sure is easier to get through the day. I have this feeling that many people do exactly that... Justify their own fallen-ness by pointing to the faults of others - then, all is well in the world. The problem is, Truth doesn't work that way.
The Truth is, sin is relative - but relative to God's perfect standard, which is sinless-ness, personified by the Man Jesus. Jesus, set aside his God-ness, became man, and lived a sinless life. He showed us the Way. And at once, became the Way (or, really always was the Way.) He is the standard by which we are measured. And, since that is the Truth, my sinfulness looks very, very bad. The Light of Jesus, shined on my sin, reveals me to be wholly unholy, deeply depraved, and, on my own energies, without hope. Condemned by my own doing.
But, Jesus. "Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1) That's what Peter saw in the eyes of this Teacher, who had just given him the gift of fish. I imagine that Jesus had this look of love, maybe even a hint of joy/sorrow as He watched Peter "get it." You know, that Joy that makes you cry because you know someone you love is at that place where the pain of Truth makes them run to God and ask for Salvation? You hurt, because you know they hurt, but you are so happy because they have entered eternal life... Just thinking about the times I watched friends and family at that place makes me heart leap!
And then, not satisfied to leave it there, Jesus told Peter, "From now on, you will fish for people..." Jesus told Peter, essentially, "I am so happy you see the Truth. But, it doesn't stop there. Living in this Truth, you will lead others to this Truth. Your life will have meaning, and purpose, and Hope. I am NOT going away. I will be with you forever. We will do great things together!" Peter and the rest of the guys left everything - including the fish they had just caught - and followed Jesus till the end. And the world has never been the same.
Jesus says the same thing to you, and to me: "I love you. I want you to know me fully. I have amazing things planned for you. We can change the world together. Come, follow me." The only question now is, "What do I do with that?" Have you had your "boat" experience? That moment where you realized the sinfulness of you, and the holiness of God, so much so that you cried out, "Go away from me Lord!"? Have you accepted the Truth of salvation found only in Jesus Christ? Can you say, right now, without doubt, that you are a sinner whose only hope is Jesus?
If you have already been to the cross, and heard the words of Jesus, "I love you and I died to pay for your sins." Are you changed? Have you left everything to follow Him? Have you listened for His voice and longed to be as close to Him as possible? I want to challenge you, seek Him. Seek His will in your life. In similar manner, as He told Peter, "I will take who you are, and make you all you were intended to be for the glory of God." He is telling you, too. God is saving you for good reason. Seek Him.
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