A person I care about deeply called me yesterday. He thanked me for some words I spoke to him not too long ago. He explained that he thought about the words for a long time... he played them back in his mind over and over... and when he was ready, he believed the words, and he acted on them. And things got better. A chain of events that he never thought would happen, and could only hope for, have begun. The healing of a wound from long ago has begun... and there is hope.
The funny thing is... that wound... the one that is now being healed... it came from words, too.
Created in God's image, as men and women, we have been given the privilege of words. No other creature under the sun has the ability to communicate at a level of reason. Sure, monkeys can be trained to "talk" through signs and gestures... but no monkey ever wrote poetry. No monkey ever wrote a "Dear John" letter. No monkey has ever wrote a suicide note.
James 3:10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.
I am a talker. I am a salesman and I essentially make money by talking. I have been trained to speak in public. I love to teach. And I have seen people learn and grow and excel because of words I have spoken. But, I have looked into the eyes of my wife, after I reacted and said something cutting just so I would "win", and have seen pain... I have watched tears well up in my daughters eyes because I opened my mouth and said some things that were technically "right", but said in a hurtful manner. Oh, and I have just said some foul stuff... just because I was angry. And I wish it was just once or twice... but sadly, far too many times, I open my mouth and it ain't "praise" that comes out.
What the H..E.. double toothpicks is that all about??!!
Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
I have been saved since 1991, and I cannot plead ignorance. I cannot blame it on my upbringing, my childhood, my situation... I have tasted the Life with the Lord, and I am filled with the Spirit of God and I really, really, really... really have no excuse. I have been blessed beyond my wildest imagination, and have been given more than I deserve. In the big scheme of things, I have no problems (external, anyway...) I know the Holy God, Creator, Saviour, and I am made New... I really have no excuse. And believe me, I have been looking for one...
So, what is the deal? Why does unwholesome talk ever come out of my mouth? I should be a walking, talking, shouting even, bucket o' blessings! And yet... if I had a tape recorder of every word I have spoken for the last year, far too many times I have said things I wish I could take back. It may be true that many blessings have been spoken, and how I hope that the ratio of blessings to cursings would make my Daddy proud, but I guess where I am going here is that not one cursing should have been uttered. Not one. There shouldn't be a ratio...
Matthew 5:48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Jesus said that... I am only repeating it. So don't curse me. Oh yeah, we can all debate how it is not possible to really be perfect, and we can cut theological slices of the Greek, etc, ad nauseum... But Jesus did say it. To you, and to me...
I will give you that perfection is a very, very high bar to set. And a person could go crazy trying to actually achieve it. But, I will cut to the bottom line: Far too often, we set the bar so low that we do not even notice how our words are hurting people, not blessing them. We make excuses that we are justified for some righteous reason. Or, we are just teaching someone a lesson... bull-hockey! My brothers and sisters, this ought not be!! We are called to a holy calling of perfection and grace. We are called to encourage and speak blessings to all men, and women... and wives... daughters...sons.
Anyone out there feeling me? Can I get an amen?!
Here it is... the only solution I know: Jesus. He said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt 11:28-30
Hebrews says to "fix our eyes on Jesus." That is setting the bar. We have to quit making excuses and call a sin a sin and strive to be better and better each day. We have to long for holiness, as it brings glory to God. We have to remove from our lives the things that cause us to slip into the coziness of mediocrity. That may mean watching less TV and movies that have bad language. It may mean reading the Bible more so we can see Jesus for who He was and who He is. It may mean asking someone to hold us accountable... allowing someone in our lives to weekly ask us the hard question: "How were your words last week?" We need to be honest with ourselves, and with those we love. And... here is a biggie: we need to go apologize to anyone we have hurt with our words. We need to speak blessing back into their lives and bring healing.
Whose eyes have you looked into and seen the tears in response to your words? I pray that God will give you and me the courage to face the truth of the answer to this question. And I pray that He will give us the grace and wisdom, and the right words, to speak life and love and blessings.
Go. Love. Speak.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Do you love Me more than These?
Jesus asked Peter, "Do you love me more than these?". I guess I had always thought that Jesus was referring to the other followers there on the beach that day. (John 21:15) I have read commentaries with that view several times. But, in a recent message preached by Pastor Sean Azzaro at River City Community Church in San Antonio, Texas, it was pointed out that the "these" may have been the fishing gear, boat, and the fishing trade that Peter had gone back to. You see, it is easy to think that Peter was just going out for a fishing trip, but harder to think that maybe this one time fisherman, follower of Jesus, was now returning to his old trade - that maybe he had given up, even after seeing everything that he had seen. After all the miracles, teachings, and even scoldings, he still wanted to return to the familiar. It's hard to see it that way, but it is possible that it is true.
So, if that is true, then Jesus was asking a very pointed question: "Do you love me more than all this stuff that makes you comfortable?" And what's worse, I think He is asking me that same question.
This morning in my Coffee with God time, and really over the last few days, I have been thinking about my "these". I have a lot of "these's". From a worldly standpoint, I should be proud. I have worked hard and accomplished much. But, when I really let myself look at this from the perspective of a follower of Jesus, I think I just have stuff that is making me comfortable... and I am not so sure anymore that I am supposed to be comfortable.
Even as I type these words, I am feeling this fear of exposing myself as an impostor. Sure, I lead a Life Group, play guitar and sing at church, read my Bible, and really try to love others... but do I love Jesus more than my "these"? I want to say I do, but it is possible the evidence points the other way. I have a lot of "STUFF". Have I allowed the things of this world to cloud my view of who I am in Jesus? The conflict raging in my heart right now says that it is possible. I know I must act. I must.
Peter was grieved when Jesus asked for the third time, "Do you love Me?" I think I am feeling that grief. Maybe Peter was thinking, "Yes, Jesus, I did sort of run back to the things I knew that I was good at... the things that are comfortable in my life, didn't I?" It grieved him to look into his own heart and see that his lack of faith showed up again. I am acutely aware of that grief, and I do not like it. Not one bit.
That leaves me with a question that has to be answered by action. What are my "these's" and will I let them go. If I am going to love Jesus more, I think I have to take a full inventory of my "stuff", my life, and see if anything is getting in the way. I have to look at my house, my cars, my job, my guitars, my tools, my everything. Not that I think any of these things are evil in and of themselves. But if they somehow are getting in the way of me giving my all to Jesus, then for me, they are evil. I will admit, I am feeling some serious conflicts in my heart, and that is telling me that I need to make some changes... I need to make some choices.
Even more embarrassing now is that I wondering what others will think of me... I believe that is called "pride". But my hope is that all of this is coming from a God who loves me more than anything, and He has my best interests in His heart. If I want to truly follow Him, then I really have to follow. Here at a local church here in San Antonio my first Pastor, Phillip Walton, would always say, "If you are following someone, then you will be walking behind them... following." In other words, you go where He goes, you do what He does... there is evidence to the following.
We are called to take up the cross, and leave our "these". If we have placed our trust in the One True and Holy God, we are called to follow Him, to Trust Him, and to love Him more than anything else. And when we do, it looks like it... there is evidence of the following, the trusting, the loving.
I am sharing this with the hope that writing it down will make it a point in history where I have declared that I want to follow in truth. And as I struggle through this "cleansing" for lack of a better word, I hope this challenges you to consider what your "these's" are. If you are anything like me, you will feel fear. You might be embarrassed, and you may want to avoid the question. Maybe that is why Jesus asked three times: "Do you love me more than these?" Maybe it took three times to sink into the heart of a conflicted man on the beach in Judea. Maybe it takes at least three times to break through the heart and mind of a man in San Antonio.
I guess we will see.
So, if that is true, then Jesus was asking a very pointed question: "Do you love me more than all this stuff that makes you comfortable?" And what's worse, I think He is asking me that same question.
This morning in my Coffee with God time, and really over the last few days, I have been thinking about my "these". I have a lot of "these's". From a worldly standpoint, I should be proud. I have worked hard and accomplished much. But, when I really let myself look at this from the perspective of a follower of Jesus, I think I just have stuff that is making me comfortable... and I am not so sure anymore that I am supposed to be comfortable.
Even as I type these words, I am feeling this fear of exposing myself as an impostor. Sure, I lead a Life Group, play guitar and sing at church, read my Bible, and really try to love others... but do I love Jesus more than my "these"? I want to say I do, but it is possible the evidence points the other way. I have a lot of "STUFF". Have I allowed the things of this world to cloud my view of who I am in Jesus? The conflict raging in my heart right now says that it is possible. I know I must act. I must.
Peter was grieved when Jesus asked for the third time, "Do you love Me?" I think I am feeling that grief. Maybe Peter was thinking, "Yes, Jesus, I did sort of run back to the things I knew that I was good at... the things that are comfortable in my life, didn't I?" It grieved him to look into his own heart and see that his lack of faith showed up again. I am acutely aware of that grief, and I do not like it. Not one bit.
That leaves me with a question that has to be answered by action. What are my "these's" and will I let them go. If I am going to love Jesus more, I think I have to take a full inventory of my "stuff", my life, and see if anything is getting in the way. I have to look at my house, my cars, my job, my guitars, my tools, my everything. Not that I think any of these things are evil in and of themselves. But if they somehow are getting in the way of me giving my all to Jesus, then for me, they are evil. I will admit, I am feeling some serious conflicts in my heart, and that is telling me that I need to make some changes... I need to make some choices.
Even more embarrassing now is that I wondering what others will think of me... I believe that is called "pride". But my hope is that all of this is coming from a God who loves me more than anything, and He has my best interests in His heart. If I want to truly follow Him, then I really have to follow. Here at a local church here in San Antonio my first Pastor, Phillip Walton, would always say, "If you are following someone, then you will be walking behind them... following." In other words, you go where He goes, you do what He does... there is evidence to the following.
We are called to take up the cross, and leave our "these". If we have placed our trust in the One True and Holy God, we are called to follow Him, to Trust Him, and to love Him more than anything else. And when we do, it looks like it... there is evidence of the following, the trusting, the loving.
I am sharing this with the hope that writing it down will make it a point in history where I have declared that I want to follow in truth. And as I struggle through this "cleansing" for lack of a better word, I hope this challenges you to consider what your "these's" are. If you are anything like me, you will feel fear. You might be embarrassed, and you may want to avoid the question. Maybe that is why Jesus asked three times: "Do you love me more than these?" Maybe it took three times to sink into the heart of a conflicted man on the beach in Judea. Maybe it takes at least three times to break through the heart and mind of a man in San Antonio.
I guess we will see.
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