Go Away From Me, Lord...

The scene is evocative.  A small boat, rocking abruptly out of sync with the calm lake.  A few men working feverishly to haul in a very full net of fish.  Contrasting that activity, in the same boat, one man on his knees before another, his heart breaking with the sudden realization of who he was, and who he was kneeling before.  The words forcing themselves out of his throat, "Go away from me Lord, I am a sinful man."  I can almost see the agony in his face, and I feel the pain as if it were my own... it is uncomfortably familiar...

So, why these words?  What prompted this seasoned fishing professional to be overcome with such seemingly contrary emotion upon receiving this gift of the largest haul of fish he had ever seen, much less, hauled in himself.  The overflowing nets would have made any fisherman cry, but not with such sorrow.  And why beg the Man who gave such a gift to go away?  A little context could help.

Peter and the guys had been fishing all night.  That's just what they did almost every night... they were professional fishermen.  In that society, it was a relatively respectable career path.  Truly, every faithful young man wanted to be a student, chosen by one of the famous Pharisees to be taught in the Law and the Prophets, the Bible of that day, or what Christians know as the Old Testament. The life of a scholar would be much easier and have more opportunity than that of any tradesman.  Teaching, preaching, and sitting around, discussing theological things all day... much more gratifying than casting nets and gutting fish all night and day.  These men, having not been chosen by one of the schools of religious training, followed in their fathers' footsteps into the trade of fishing, and were likely resolved that their destinies were pretty much set.

That morning, after an unsuccessful night of fishing, they were there on the banks of the Lake of Gennesaret (also know as the Sea of Galilee, or the Sea of Tiberias) cleaning their nets.  A teacher, not yet famous, but certainly becoming known for his contrariness, was teaching from the banks.  Apparently, the fishermen had a front row seat, as they continued to finish their work for the day.  Whatever Jesus was talking about must have been impressive, because when He was done speaking to the crowd, He turned to Peter and said, "Let's go catch some fish!" (loose translation by me!)  Peter, tired, in the middle of cleaning his nets, started to put up an argument, "Master, we have worked hard all night and haven't caught anything..."  Notice the term "Master."  (Luke 5:5)  That's a term we simply won't use today.  We would never even feign such a submissive position to anyone... much less someone we did not know.  I have heard various explanations of this: 1. That Peter had heard Jesus before;  2. That Peter had actually already established a relationship with Jesus at this point;  3.  That Peter had wanted to be a teacher himself, recognized the power in this Teacher who spoke to him now, and simply had an immediate sense of deep respect for Jesus... a view I particularly prefer as most reasonable.  Not that it matters that much, but it just seems to me that anything else would have been mentioned.

So, back to the context: we see that Peter, at least, recognized this Teacher as Master.  And despite the fact that Peter and the others were experienced, professional fishermen who had already called it a day, Peter capitulated his argument and offered, "...but because You say so, I will let down the nets."  The text goes immediately to the catching of fish, skipping past the description of how the men had to gather the nets and whatever tools they use, get back into the boats, and row out into the waters. The text simply states: "When they had done so, they caught such a large number the nets began to break."  That's crazy!  I am going out on a limb here, but I don't think they had ever seen anything like this.  During the warmth of the day, when the fish were normally nearest the bottom and fishing just isn't done, they caught the biggest catch of their lives... maybe the biggest catch ever on that lake.  The boat was starting to sink, and they had to call out to another boat to come over and help... we are talking, HUGE!  You can only imagine the excitement of all of those involved!  The yelling and laughing, whooping and hollering!  This was the catch of their lives.

In the midst of the chaos, I can see Peter... slowly standing, countenance fading from outright exuberance to solemn stupor.  The realization that this Man, who gave this gift, who said these words, who had commanded such submissiveness from him without any verbal demands, was more than a man.  Who else could direct the fish themselves to jump into the net?  These fish were usually out of reach at this time of day, not to mention this catch literally defied all realities known to Peter and the others.  Fish don't do this.  Peter then realized, "Jesus did this... Jesus is sent from God."  We know this because of the next word out of Peter's mouth was "Lord".  There is a dramatic shift from Master, which is pretty powerful, to Lord, which is Master times a hundred.  In our day, that could be something like the difference between "dude" and "Mr. President"...  We can only conclude something happened in the time from the shore to the hauling in of fish... Jesus didn't change... Peter did. And in that place, Peter could only ask - no, beg -  this Man, "Lord", to go away.  "Go away from me Lord, I am a sinful man."

This is worth exploring: Why would you ask God to go away?  To give you a hint of where I am going, I am just going to say that I suspect we all ask God to go away a lot more than we care to admit.  This peek into Peter's soul, that he now knows his sinfulness in a more full way and at the same time, he sees the holiness of God... it breaks his heart.  I think we can all say these things: "I am sinful.  God is Holy."  We can probably even say it in the same sentence: "I am sinful and God is perfectly holy."  There.  I said it.  I don't think Peter was just saying it... maybe that is the point.  Peter experienced something in a profound truth that he had not  experienced before.  An utter humbling that rocked his world so deep that his only response was to ask God to go away, lest God get stained by Peter's filthiness, or lest Peter burst into flames from proximity to God's perfection.  Peter, with his religious background; his past hopes of being one of the elite teachers in the order of the Pharisees or maybe the Sadducees... Peter got it...maybe for the first time.  "God is good.  God is Holy.  I am nothing.  I do not deserve anything except condemnation."  He stared up into the eyes of God expecting to see that condemnation he deserved.  But, that is not what he saw.

Before we move on to what he saw in Jesus' eyes, let's just agree to agree: All of us have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.  (Romans 3:23)  I don;'t have a clue about what specific sins Peter was thinking of, but I can come up with plenty of my own.  I suspect you can, too.  Personally, I have a few doozies that I simply can't even talk about.  It is quite possible that you feel the same way.  The problem at times is that we compare our sins to the sins of others, and then, we aren't so bad after all.  In fact, if we could maybe find someone who sins more than us, we start to look pretty good.  As if the blackness of sin was relative.  That way, we feel better and it sure is easier to get through the day.  I have this feeling that many people do exactly that... Justify their own fallen-ness by pointing to the faults of others - then, all is well in the world.  The problem is, Truth doesn't work that way.

The Truth is, sin is relative - but relative to God's perfect standard, which is sinless-ness, personified by the Man Jesus.  Jesus, set aside his God-ness, became man, and lived a sinless life.  He showed us the Way.  And at once, became the Way (or, really always was the Way.)  He is the standard by which we are measured.  And, since that is the Truth, my sinfulness looks very, very bad.  The Light of Jesus, shined on my sin, reveals me to be wholly unholy, deeply depraved, and, on my own energies, without hope. Condemned by my own doing.

But, Jesus.  "Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1)  That's what Peter saw in the eyes of this Teacher, who had just given him the gift of fish.  I imagine that Jesus had this look of love, maybe even a hint of joy/sorrow as He watched Peter "get it."  You know, that Joy that makes you cry because you know someone you love is at that place where the pain of Truth makes them run to God and ask for Salvation?  You hurt, because you know they hurt, but you are so happy because they have entered eternal life...  Just thinking about the times I watched friends and family at that place makes me heart leap! 

And then, not satisfied to leave it there, Jesus told Peter, "From now on, you will fish for people..."  Jesus told Peter, essentially, "I am so happy you see the Truth.  But, it doesn't stop there.  Living in this Truth, you will lead others to this Truth.  Your life will have meaning, and purpose, and Hope.  I am NOT going away.  I will be with you forever.  We will do great things together!"  Peter and the rest of the guys left everything - including the fish they had just caught - and followed Jesus till the end.  And the world has never been the same.

Jesus says the same thing to you, and to me:  "I love you.  I want you to know me fully.  I have amazing things planned for you.  We can change the world together.  Come, follow me."  The only question now is, "What do I do with that?"  Have you had your "boat" experience?  That moment where you realized the sinfulness of you, and the holiness of God, so much so that you cried out, "Go away from me Lord!"?  Have you accepted the Truth of salvation found only in Jesus Christ?  Can you say, right now, without doubt, that you are a sinner whose only hope is Jesus?

If you have already been to the cross, and heard the words of Jesus, "I love you and I died to pay for your sins." Are you changed?  Have you left everything to follow Him?  Have you listened for His voice and longed to be as close to Him as possible?  I want to challenge you, seek Him.  Seek His will in your life.  In similar manner, as He told Peter, "I will take who you are, and make you all you were intended to be for the glory of God." He is telling you, too.  God is saving you for good reason.  Seek Him.

Even Jesus Had Bad Days...

My wife said it, so don't look at me... I would never say such a sacreligious thing! Or is it....?


When I saw the post from my youngest daughter, quoting my amazing wife, I immediately pictured the conversation they probably had when the sentence entered into existence: my wife was driving my daughter crazy and Rebecca was pushing back, and Kat was giving a reason why she was acting irritated. But, my wife enlightened me... I was totally wrong about the scenario. Not even close.

This is how it went: I was not home at the time, and the two of them were laying in bed talking about life and stuff - Before I move on, you gotta admit.. that's just awesome! My wife and my 16 year old daughter, just talking about life... real life. Not a lecture from a parent, or a tirade from a teenager. No, a deep, passionate digging in of life, love, and just stuff. I hear a lot of people complain about teenagers, but I'm here to tell you, they are not all bad. I've seen some remarkable, godly young men and women at my church, and most fortunately, in my home.

Okay, back to the conversation. Rebecca was explaining her frustrations to my wife about relationships, and friends, and school, and work... pretty much the things we all struggle with day to day. My wife, with poignant precision, states what I now have realized to be a deep truth, "Jesus had bad days, too, Baby." (We call our beautiful, amazing daughter, Baby... a very loaded term of endearment.) The conversation continued and they eventually went to sleep knowing Whose hands they were in. Again, that's just beautiful.

My immediate and irreverent response was to say, "Yeah, but Jesus can turn water into wine... that always helps." But, since I saw that post on Facebook, I have bounced that phrase around and around in my head. Jesus did, in fact, have His fair share of bad days. Let's enumerate a few.

Have you ever heard the catch phrase, "What, were you born in a barn?", usually declared loudly after leaving an exterior door wide open on a very hot, or very cold day. (As the fifth child of seven, I am pretty sure I heard that quite a bit growing up.) Well, Jesus was... born in a barn, that is. Not a great start for the King of the Universe. Since He literally owns everything that exists, you would think that He might go for something a little more extravagant. His earthly parents were pretty poor, so He was born into, and grew up with very little creature comfort. Now, the wise men did give some substantial gifts, but I'm of the mind that those gifts funded the flight to Egypt. That's not "flight" as in Southwest Airlines, but "flight" as in, "Wake up!! We have to leave our home right now and go to a different country or our child will be killed" flight. That was likely a seriously bad day, or two...

There is no mention of Joseph after the story of Jesus at the Temple when He was twelve, so most interpret that to mean that Joseph likely died prior to Jesus' public ministry. Even though Jesus knew His Perfect Father better than any of us, that still had to be a pretty bad day, when He had to bury His dad, and comfort His mom and family. I remember vividly when my dad died... that was a bad day, even though it was a peaceful departure, when compared to most.

In the Gospels, we can see many bad days, and I can only imagine the days that aren't described within the Scriptures. He was a carpenter, so I am sure He smashed a finger or two... I bet He didn't swear, like I do when I smash my finger, but it still swelled up, bled, and hurt. I'm sure He could have healed Himself if He wanted, but somehow, I think He didn't. I think He chose to experience life the way we do... the pain, the hurt, the love, everything. Good days, and bad...

Ultimately, there was THE Bad Day. The arrest. The beating. The crown of thorns. The betrayal. The abandonment. The nails. The Spear. The mockery. The shame. The heartache. The weight of the sin of the world. I really do not think, in as many bad days that I have had - and I have experienced a few very bad days... I am confident not one of my days ever even remotely compared to this very bad day. The most amazing thing is this: He knew ahead of time about this bad day. He even told Peter about it... He mentioned it a few times along the way. He knew. He knew and He went through it anyway. Because He decided, somehow, that I was worth it... that you were worth it. That my wife, and my daughters, were worth it.

Hebrews 12:2 explains this with precision: “...For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” The perspective of Jesus, His reasons to endure, the “why” behind the willingness... ours should and can be the same. There is a JOY to be had in the knowing that when we are done here, we will go into an eternity so amazing we have no words to describe it. No more pain, no more fear, no more tears... only good days. Jesus saw this. He also saw that every encounter while He was here was filled with purpose and meaning. It can be, and actually is, with us too. Romans 8:28-29 essentially says, “All things work together for God’s glory...” and continues to speak on His perfect plan to conform us into the image of His Son. To make us become just like Him. If that isn’t “Joy set before” me and you, I don’t know what is!!

Amazing.

So, if we see this Joy set before us, we, like Jesus, choose to endure. We trust that Father is working it all out. We look forward to the conforming of us into Him.

I sit here in wonderment of this Savior of mine. Words from a Casting Crowns song come to mind:

"Living He loved me,

Dying He saved me,

Buried He carried my sins far away.

Rising, He justified, freely forever.

One Day He's coming, Oh Glorious Day.

O Glorious Day."

Jesus, fully God and fully man, lived a sinless life... a life littered with bad days, that ended on a bad day, now lives in this Glorious Day. This Glorious Day where He lives, and loves His own.. all those who would turn to Him and call Him their own. He chose to endure the most un-endurable day, and now, He lives to justify us with God so that we can enter into eternity to never have another bad day.